Married at 11, a mother at 15: Bachhimaya Kathet’s life of sacrifice

Child marriage, repeated pregnancies and relentless domestic work shaped her life in a time when reproductive healthcare was scarce and women had little say over family size

KATHMANDU: Bachhimaya Kathet, who gave birth to her first child at the age of 15, carried her maternal journey until the age of 47. Most of her life was spent in a continuous cycle of becoming pregnant year after year, giving birth, raising children, and working tirelessly at domestic chores. Whether she went to cut grass or returned carrying firewood, she gave birth to children. In a time when hospitals and healthcare workers were not easily accessible, her life became a story of struggle far more than the joy of motherhood.

Eighty-four-year-old Bachhimaya and her 94-year-old husband Dhan Prasad Kathet from Barbote, Ilam Municipality-5, gave birth to 28 children, including 14 sons and 14 daughters. Now, they are in the later stage of their lives. With age, their bodies have grown weak and illness troubles them. However, one desire still remains in Bachhimaya’s heart: to see the country where her children living abroad reside.

Women rarely had the freedom to rest their bodies, monitor their health, or choose the size of their families.

“I felt like I was not a human being but a machine,” says Bachhimaya, recalling the past. “From the time I was 15 until I grew older, my womb was never empty. Even today, remembering how those days passed makes me shudder.”

Hearing about giving birth to 28 children may seem surprising to many. But Bachhimaya’s life cannot be understood merely by the number of children. Her story depicts a time when a woman’s life was limited to family, pregnancy, postpartum conditions, and child care. Many women did not even have the opportunity to rest their own bodies, get health checkups, or decide on the size of their families.

Giving birth while gathering grass and firewood

When Bachhimaya gave birth to her children, there were neither hospital facilities nor easy availability of skilled healthcare workers. Regular checkups during pregnancy and receiving safe delivery services were beyond her imagination. She had to give birth while doing household chores and farm work.

“Some were born while cutting grass, others were born on the way back while carrying firewood,” she recalls the past. “There was no question of medical treatment. Children were born and raised solely based on what I knew myself.”

With endless pregnancies and postpartum recoveries, her body never had the opportunity for adequate rest.

A mother’s responsibility did not end after a child was born; rather, another phase of struggle began. Feeding the baby, bathing them, washing clothes, putting them to sleep, and caring for them when sick rested on Bachhimaya’s shoulders. On top of that, cutting grass, carrying firewood, farm work, and other household chores had to be done. There was no possibility of sufficient rest for a body going through continuous pregnancies and postpartum recovery.

For Bachhimaya, motherhood was a natural responsibility of life. But how much physical pain, mental stress, and exhaustion were hidden within that responsibility can only be understood by listening to her experience.

Pain of losing half her children

Bachhimaya, who gave birth to 28 children, could not raise all of them. At least 14 of her children passed away during childhood due to various diseases. She recalls that diarrhea, pneumonia, measles, and other infections claimed the lives of the children. Medical facilities were limited at that time. Common illnesses could put children’s lives at risk.

“Some passed away immediately after birth, some a few days after birth, and some after growing older due to various illnesses,” she says. “Half of those I gave birth to could not be saved.”

Beyond the struggles of childbirth and child-rearing lay the equally devastating pain of losing her children.